If Not Now, When? Supporting Your Teen to Independence with T1D

Parenting a teenager is rarely straightforward. Parenting a teenager with type 1 diabetes adds an extra layer of complexity, especially when it comes to handing over responsibility. You want them to be safe. You want them to be confident. And you want them to develop the skills they’ll need when you’re not standing beside them. Balancing those three goals can feel like walking a tightrope.

Drawing on the experience of Natalia Hazell, the Type 1 Family Centre’s psychologist, we’ll walk through some practical strategies that can support you and your teen as you navigate this stage together.

Part of this journey is helping your teen develop the skills and mindset to manage their own diabetes. The other part is learning when and how to loosen your grip, even just a little. Every year at the Family Centre, we take 25 teenagers away on our Type 1 Teen Camp. They are surrounded by the safest hands possible: several diabetes educators and about ten adults who also live with type 1.

Just before the bus leaves, we talk to parents about an often-overlooked opportunity. With their teen cared for and supported, this can be a rare moment to switch off for a few days — to let themselves breathe. That might mean putting down the CGM follow-app, turning off the noise of high and low alerts, and trusting the camp team to handle things. It’s common to see nervous faces when we say this – or event straight-up shaking of heads – and it’s completely understandable. Letting go, even temporarily, is scary. But identifying the right moments to hand over a little responsibility matters. Without these experiences, teens can reach adulthood without ever having had the room to learn the independence they’ll need.

A story shared by the family of former AFL player Paddy McCartin captures this tension perfectly. When Paddy was in high school, his class set off on a school camp. During part of the trip, students would leave the main campground and spend a couple of nights off the grid. The school was hesitant to take Paddy on this part because of the risks that come with managing type 1 diabetes without access to support.

Paddy’s mum asked the question that shifted the entire conversation:

“If not now, when is he going to learn the skills to be independent with his diabetes?”

It’s a question that resonates for many families. The teenage years are the bridge between childhood and adulthood. Teens are developing a sense of identity, independence, and capability. For those with type 1 diabetes, this is also the time to gradually take the reins of their management. But they can’t do that unless they’re given real opportunities to practise.

Below are some approaches that can help families find a balance between safety and independence as your teenager grows.

Start With Shared Responsibility

Independence doesn’t begin with a handover of every task. It starts with shared responsibility. This might look like:

• Asking your teen to do their own fingerprick or CGM calibration while you observe.

• Handing them the pump for set changes while you talk through the process.

• Letting them estimate carbs and then checking together.

Think of yourself as a coach: close enough to support, far enough to let them try.

Expect Variability (Because They’re Teens)

The Family Centre’s psychologist, Natalia Hazell, knows that teens naturally fluctuate in their motivation, organisation, and emotional bandwidth. “Some days they’ll be on top of everything. Some days they’ll drop the ball. That’s developmentally normal, not a sign that they can’t take responsibility.”

Natalia points out that independence comes in waves. Rather than expecting a straight line of progress, look for patterns over time. Celebrate when they lean in. Support them when they pull back. The long game is what matters.

Use Conversations, Not Confrontations

Conversations about responsibility work best when they’re collaborative. Try approaches like:

• Curiosity: “What parts of your diabetes care do you feel ready to take on?”

• Choice: “Would you rather handle your morning bolus routine or your after-school checks first?”

• Problem-solving together: “What makes this part tricky? What might help?”

When teens feel like they have agency, they’re much more likely to step up.

Match Independence to Situation, Not Age

A 14-year-old may be ready for sleepovers but not multi-day camps. A 17-year-old might handle exercise management well but still forget supplies. Independence isn’t a single marker; it’s a constellation of skills.

You know your child best. You can decide which situations are stepping stones and which are cliffs. But it’s important to keep identifying those stepping stones and offering opportunities to practise.

Prepare, Don’t Prohibit

If a situation feels risky, build scaffolding rather than saying “no.” For example:

• Create a simple check-in plan for a camp or a long sports day.

• Pack labelled supplies or spare sensors.

• Talk through “If X happens, what’s your plan?”

• Role-play conversations they may need to have with coaches, teachers, or friends.

Preparation builds confidence for both you and your teen.

Remember the Goal: A Capable Young Adult

Teenagers eventually become adults who need to navigate university, work, relationships, travel, and life with type 1 diabetes. Every skill you encourage now becomes one less hurdle later.

Paddy’s mum wasn’t pushing for risk. She was advocating for growth. Her question wasn’t about sending her son into the wilderness unprepared. It was about recognising that independence is learned, not magically acquired at adulthood. And that learning starts now—gently, gradually, and with support.